.: i'm sure the view from heaven :.

Who spent way too long in the library today? That would be meeeeee. Whee. xD Got lots of new notes; ideas and things and life is grand. Actually, a lot of it ties into Sariel, so that will be much fun.

Aside from that, and the amusement that the main Lexington branch is the Central Library? Nothing much. I start work on Friday, so I don't get to go home and go to the Reds game. Angst.

Oh my god that was the funniest conversation I think I've had with my father in forever. xDDD My parents just got a new computer, and I was asking if it was one of the "thin" moniters and not a gigantic old-school moniter. He kept telling me it was flat screen - well, yes, most moniters ARE now, but their old moniter was a flat-screen but it was an old-style giant moniter. He kept giving me screen dimensions whenever I asked and oh my god I'm still laughing. I could hear my mom in the background because she knew what I was asking about but XDDDD.

In other news, the whole reason my dad called was to ask if I wanted to go to the Reds game next weekend, 'cause he wanted to go since they were giving away free Waite Hoyt CDs. SO I GET TO GO TO A REDS GAME NEXT WEEEEEEK.

The only downside is of course I won't be able to get him his Father's Day present on time, but I think he'll appreciate it whenever he gets it. Which would be this because I'm reasonably sure that's a tee shirt he's never seen before.

Hee. I am so giggly at the moment because I've been doing nothing but reading Roy/Ed that is so well-written it puts most of the stuff out there to such shaaaaame and even the mpreg fics are good and that's something because I can't stand mpregs to save my immortal soul. And the Fairy Tale AU one where Ed had actually sold his soul to a demon to save Al's life and then they were gonna hunt down the demon to try to get it back made me FALL OFF THE COUCH at that point with the giggling and it so wasn't the thrust of the story but it was completely unintentional and god I'm still reading. Dunno what I'll do when I run out of fic, probably die. Heeheehee. Thrust.

Oh did I mention I got a job? xDDDDDDDDD~

*mutters like a zombie*

At least I got eight hours of sleep, I'm fucking with my sleep schedule again. x_x

Things I need to do today:

[x] Clean the kitchen.
[x] Clean bedroom, do laundry.
[x] Clean living room.
[x] Job-hunt
[x] Careerbuilder.com; craigslist.com
[x] Do catboxes
[x] Go bother landlord, ensure rent issue has been handled.
[x] Relayout inazuma_no; organize it so I can start posting over there again.

[x] Write and/or draw, keep up streak.

*

We went out hiking last night, that was fun. It was dusky and everything; the trails weren't horribly long but again they were fun. I'm mildly impressed that I don't seem to have poison ivy. Win!

I am so horribly out of shape. Need to rectify this.

God I am so friggin' sick to my stomach I just want to die. I can't decide if I'm hungry or not... occasionally I'll feel hungry then I'll feel like I'm going to hurl again. No crackers to munch on either... damnit. >_< This is not cool. I wish I'd just ralph so I would stop coughing to the point of ralphing and then stopping. Gih. The french dip apparently did not sit well with me.

Archimedes decided this morning that the best way to get fed was to lie on my leg and then suddenly roll over and sink all four claws into the back of my leg. The right leg, in case anyone wondered. I think even the cats are beginning to get in on this joke, because it's always my left arm and right leg that get torn up with cat scratches. Seriously guys, if we could lay off the bloodletting I'd be fine with it.

Speaking of, the cat is currently sitting on the floor staring very intently at my can of coke. It's kind of unnerving.

We went and saw Spider-man 3 last night; which I actually enjoyed a bit more than Spider-man 2. I have a long-standing grudge against Tobey Maguire but I was able to stomach the melodrama a lot better this time. I think I need to rewatching Spider-man 2. I mean, I love Spidey. He's my favorite Marvel superhero, but Tobey Maguire makes me twitch. James Franco, on the other hand, is completely made of win. I like Harry. Harry when he's happy dopey smiley, Harry when he's psychoticly evil... beautiful. <3

There was a preview for Order of the Phoenix on it that I hadn't seen yet and oh god did it give me goosebumps. I love it when movie trailers can do that ... the movie itself can blow spectactular chunks (re: Phantom Menace, hell all three of the prequels) but the trailer, and the anticipation are incredible. I love watching trailers often more than the movies themselves because you still have such hope for the feature, the "oh, my god this is going to be incredible". I remember when the first teaser for Episode I came out and I couldn't stop watching it. I can't even describe it.

If I could have a DVD of nothing but classic movie trailers I would be so happy. xD;

So, yeah. Saw movie, yay. Going to go to Kings Island on Saturday since I was unable to do the convention thing this year. Angst. It's just as well, I've pretty much come to the realization that the con thing isn't for me. The more people who go, the more it stresses everyone out. If I'm able to go to a con I want it to be the least stressful thing in the world and due to my nature that just isn't a possibility. Maybe I'll make it to Sugoicon this year but I'm not crossing my fingers. Still makes me angst, though, because I've had a lot of fun at cons.

Um, I think that's it. I have to watch Hollywoodland today. I'm running out of time. xD Also need to go buy some shorts that actually aren't torn, ragged and gross from my stint at the factory. Preferably cargoes. God, I never go clothes-shopping, this'll be weird.

I redid my userinfo, got rid of some outdated links and stuff. I ought to do a new LJ layout... anyone want to make me one? xD;; Should also reorganize my icons. Hrm...

Every now and then I get to thinking about random weird crap - happens a lot when you're alone. You people should be thankful that I spare you the long-winded ramblings I come up with driving to and from Lexington every day, I certainly would have driven someone (quite possibly myself) mad. A any rate, I got to thinking about memory, and how strange the memories that stick with you are.

Then I got to thinking about what the earliest actual memory I have. See, now, there's a troubling thing about that. It's often hard to distinugish my own memories from created memories from family video tapes. Starting with the year my brother was born, up until a couple of years ago my father thoroughly documented our family life. Family gatherings, special events, all committed to celluloid and then! Then edited together to form a brief, highlighted summary of the year for absent family members. Having the camera on such moments... means I can never be one hundred percent sure how much of my own memory is actually my remembering, and not just me reimagining something I've seen on the television screen.

I can think of two memories that I know for certain are wholly mine. The first... I maybe had just turned four. Maybe. I remember my mother sitting me down at our kitchen table and explaining that I was going to have a baby sister or brother and I was so excited, because I thought that meant something akin to getting another cat. We had just gotten our first cat, you see, and so we were getting a new pet! I remember this so very clearly, because my mom sat me in her seat at the kitchen table - the one in the corner, under the calender - and explained to me what a brother or sister was. I couldn't have been older than four for this, since my brother's less than four years younger than me ... but I don't recall my father being there, and I'm reasonably sure that he did not yet have the video camera.

The other memory I have was in that murky gray time when my father was gone. To where, I've never found out - and to be wholly honest I don't have the courage to ask him. We all have our problems and I see this now more than ever - if you're lucky, you grow up thinking your parents are indestructible, always right, and that nothing ever phases them. Then, abruptly, you're grown up and you realize that your parents aren't superhuman and never have been. They just did the best they could to conceal from you that they suffered from reality too.

Whatever problems my father had; whatever problems my parents had, well. I was lucky. He came back, whatever had happened worked out. But I remember this very clearly. Because for whatever amount of time he was actually gone, my mother worked, we spent a lot of time at my grandmother's house. I was maybe five, my brother was hardly a year old. My grandmother's house was small - it was a ranch house with a basement. Three bedrooms, and to be entirely honest, excluding the basement the apartment I currently live it probably has more floorspace. She raised five kids in that house. Yet despite the fact that house was tiny I would always sneak away, good at disappearing off.

It wouldn't take her or my mother very long to find me. I would always be in the same spot, in my grandmother's bedroom. I remember this very clearly too - there was a bookcase in my grandmother's bedroom. The second-to-bottom shelf held a whole host of Reader's Digest books intended for children, but second-to-top shelf had pictures. There was a picture of my father and his brothers and sisters - and here is what I'm muzzy on - either at my parent's wedding or my grandfather's funeral. I honestly don't recall which. There was also a portrait-style picture of my father there. I would always be in there, staring at the pictures of my dad, worried I was going to forget what he looked like. I was five, I didn't know if I was ever going to see him again. I was afraid that if I didn't memorize what everyone's face looked like - my uncles, my aunts, even maybe my mom - they would all leave me somehow.

It's such a strange thing to remember, to stick with you so earnestly. I remember being absolutely terrified of it while looking at those pictures. That everyone would leave me and that all I'd have would be pictures.

Memory is a odd thing, isn't it?

Most amusing thing ever: My mother has a MySpace.